It’s hard to say goodbye. I can’t pretend it’s easy. And as I stood pouring my tears out at 2am in the morning on a calm cold winter’s night outside the HSBC on Borough High Street, surrounded by some of my bestest friends, breaking up with London and leaving the ones I’d fallen for along with her, became a reality.
Pulling at heartstrings
Adventure, the call of the new, the wild, the ultimate unknown, is exactly what has pulled me away from everything I’ve fallen for so hard in the Big Smoke. If you’ve seen Moana you’ll get the next bit… when Moana sings about “that line where the sky meets the sea, and it calls me” those very lyrics tug at all of my heart strings. I can’t describe the feeling any more than that, something literally pulling at my heart, the feeling so strong that my chest could burst.
And it comes to the point where you have to decide whether you settle for finding those things that make you happy in the place which is home while being sad 80% of the time and living a life filled with regret, or whether you listen to your heart, follow your dreams sacrifice that 20% of awesomeness and being close to your loved ones to take off. Well that’s how it feels for me anyway. The hardest part is leaving all the people I love, but the ones who we truly love will come visit, they will FaceTime, Skype, read this blog, they are not angry but they are proud. They will be by mine and Mark’s side every step of the way, and that fills me with strength unlike any other.
Home can be a combination of things – it can be the place you grew up, it can be the place where all your loved ones are, it might be where you were brought up… but most of all it will be the place that FEELS like home. London and England have certainly felt like home to me, but even at the tender age of 19 as I travelled alone through South East Asia, I clearly remember thinking to myself how the world feels like home to me. So that’s it, I feel like I’m going home, into the big wide world. But most importantly, with the one person who feels like home the most because we could be anywhere in the world, but when I’m with him I really feel like I’m home.
So, we did it. We actually waved a teary-eyed goodbye to my parents at London Heathrow and boarded a plane bound for India (wtf?!). I’m still not sure I’ve fully processed it all. As we flew out over London, the whirring engines thick in my head, my tears fell but my heart burst with happiness as we waved goodbye to the city in all her triumphant glory, safe in the knowledge that I had the pleasure to cycle and skate those city streets, make memories, fall in love, share the laughter and the tears with my best friends and family at my side, climb skyscrapers, meet her people, push my fitness to new levels and sometimes just BE with her on quiet mornings and lit up evenings.
After I’d had a good cry on the plane, both in sadness and celebration, I ate some curry, then watched the whole of The Secret Life of Walter Mitty – possibly my new favourite film! Have you seen it? If you haven’t then SEE IT STAT!
Be sure to follow the journey on Instagram @tannedtonedtravelled and like the Tanned, Toned & Travelled Facebook page so as not to miss any of the action.
Have you been to India… what did you think? I’d love to know!
Feel free to drop a comment below and we can get excited about all things India together.